i need ur help
see i m 22 years old. my temprament is getting worse day by day. i m getting angrier. i hate people around me.
background of prob:
i m anti social person. i nvr made friends just because i knew my sister would always be with me. i shared every thing with her. but she nvr knew tht i nvr needed nyone else when she was there with me. i love her alot. but she got married recently. and now m all alone. i just cannot accpt her gtting married. she is very happy in her life but i feel all alone. no more attention bothers me like hell. and whenever she pin points me tht why dont i socialize hate her even more coz she doesnt knw ttht i never made friends bcuse she was there.
i feel **** lonely and cry alot
also my reason for not making friends was when i was a child i always saw my father dominating over my mother. he used to misbehave wth her. and my bro also always said he hated his sisters( he's only brother with three sisters). so being youngest of all i started hating men and my personality grew wrong. i think like a male and even my personality has been masculine. i hate acting like a girl. i wanted to be dominant and show my dad n bro tht i wont come under them. but this ruined my life. i couldnt mingle around with girls, am very shy to be with them.. i feel uncomfortable with them.
so my second major prob is i have to gt married but i just cant behave like a girl. i cant think of a guy being my husband.n m nt homosexual
Are you Asian? It would help to frame a point of reference but is not necessarily relevant.
You are a girl. How is any way you choose to behave not behaving like a girl? I don't believe there is a right way or a wrong way to be a girl.
I used to joke that I was raised a boy. I think like a man - or rather I can think like a man. I don't have any close female friends. I don't like women overly much. I typically write them off as weak and stupid. I'm a worse sexist than most men ;) I, too, had a strong and dominating father. I've also been married for 20 years, and it hasn't been all bad :P
Can we talk about your anger? Is there more to it than just the loneliness you are feeling since your sister married? I think it's normal to feel left out when someone has moved to another place in life without you, someone you've come to depend on for companionship. I think it's healthy you see that she is happy, and I think it's normal to feel some jealousy, frustration, anger, and loss now that she is busy with her married life.
Why do you have to get married?
yes m an Asian
as for 'not behaving like a girl' i meant from my way of thinking to the way i talk.. everythings boyish. ppl say i walk like men, i act like a man.. i knw m nt able to explain well. but it is actually torturing whn ppl mke u realize agn n agn tht u arent girlish at all.
i have lost self confidence, i hide from ppl, gatherings panic me.. m afraid ppl will pin point me for being odd.
and from the type of society i belong to .. there girls SHOULD behave like girls. and therefore, girls HAVE to get married.
but i dont want to spoil my married life.. for tht m really worried.
and my anger is also creating probs for me. feel like either hitting myself hard against wall or banging someone else. whenever m alone i take out my frustration by thinking of someone and like hitting him/her hard in imagination.
i feel like shouting out loud...
i know after sis, life is supposed to move on..but i JUST CANT GET OUT of it..its like i just dont want to see her now.. coz whenever she's around she reminds me of old times and that saddens me like hell.
i know i sound stupid.. but nobody understands me and thts even mORE annoying...
i just cant explain wht's going inside me.. I JUST CANT!!
How you use your body - the way you stand, the way you walk, the way you talk - is a reflection of what is going on internally. If you are patterning after the strong male in your life, or more likely, patterning after a worthy adversary for the strong man in your life, you may be reflecting that by walking/thinking like a man.
Body language is something you choose. And there is nothing wrong with being a masculine female, unless you don't want to be. You may be communicating through your body language, "gender roles are stupid! (and I protest!)"
Will you have an arranged marriage or must you find your own spouse?
firstly, thanks alot for understanding me.
i was thinking of consulting a psychologist but i think m gettng my ans here.
my marriage wd probably be arranged coz for time being i dont thnk i can even think of MEN. i hve lft it to my parents to decde who's better for me. if i were to choose, i'd probably nt even thnk of getting married.
nw u gt to help me.. advce how to 'act' like a girl? i dont want to be tagged as a masculine female... i just dont.. people have been making fun of me. but it's hgh time nw. i cant change thm so it's better to chnge myself.. also.. i feel shy to interact with females.. i dont even have an eye contact with them coz m afraid they'll know the truth through my body lang..
Another good reply, unknown. Nice work.