I dont share that view, I feel that constructive critisicm is great, but insulting people or when I think someone has insulted someone usually provokes anger and frustration in me, so I tend to block it out. My attempt to adhere to Proverbs 12:16.
Good Toby. That’s a valid way of going about it. I noticed that in my own case, if I ignored criticism or even insults, or if I tried to make myself rise above it somehow, that I still felt it in my body as resistance, as pain. It lingered, which fueled my “I am right mindset”, which fueled my egoic mind, which fueled my confusion. When I believe that I don’t love my critic, I am very confused. That’s why I am so thankful for my critics, whenever they show up. They give me a chance to see how I am resisting reality. And I am glad that your way works for you Toby. Proverbs 12:16 is an excellent ideal to aspire to! Although I was a bible student, I didn’t know that verse was in there.
See, i don't feel like that at all. Insults, veiled and otherwise, mean nothing to me. Likewise, i don't try to insult others for the sake of insulting to appear superior.
I say what i think at that exact moment when i choose to reply, there is no pre-meditated agenda but because i don't get offended i sometimes forget that others feel strongly about things. Hmm... or maybe i just don't care because emotional response is amusing.
Hexi, I can appreciate your straightforwardness. It's refreshing. I don't know if you are this way in your offline world. Are you?
Thats whats great about biblical verses; they're great for non-christians to use and aspire to.
I wish I could be more like you in the sense of how you accept your critics, I try and use critisicms to better myself, but when they feel unfounded they usually don't go down so well. :-)
I don't know how to respond to that without insulting you. Of course people need independent thoughts and ideas, but if you read a bible theres lots in there I bet you would like or even use.
Toby, I use defensive feelings as my barometer. If I am feeling defensive, then for me, that means I am trying not to face something that on some level I believe is true. And since truth is important to me, I take a look inside to see what I am trying to hide from myself. If I don’t feel defensive, then I look to see if I find the criticism useful or helpful. If I don’t, then I am grateful that someone decided to share their honest opinion with me and I am free to not take on the criticism. For instance, while I appreciate that Whitewolf and Hexi think I am long winded, I don’t feel sufficiently motivated to make my comments shorter right now. And that could change later. I’m still open to that.
More importantly, people’s criticism has almost nothing to do with me. I get that, which reduces the drama quotient in my life considerably.
Toby my friend, something tells me that you are doing fine, precisely as you are!
whitewolf you does HAS to accepted that other people maybe BE different and doesnt HAS same thoughts. and doesnt get angry from that BECAUSE i does thinks ecco homo trying to help you really. im DOES be here for you too.
Applause!!! Very good Whitewolf. As I suspected, you were not interested in a dialogue. I went ahead and typed what I did because I could have been wrong. You showed me I wasn’t. It seems you are more interested in having a monologue. But it’s all good though. As a matter of fact, it’s fantastic. I hope these beliefs you carry with you about me and “my kind” (LOL) bring you as much happiness as you can stand to have! You deserve the best and I hope you continue to get it!
Take care Whitewolf! I love you.
I just wanted to see what makes you tick. People who appear to always be cheerful and positive are usually fighting a form of depression or some deep emotional pain/regret.
No doubt it was something like that that broke you. Or rather brought you to your contradicting terms of belief.
How old are you?
You seem very uncomfortable talking to me. Why is that? What power are you giving me over you? It's all in your head.
Thats something I try to teach people. Power isn't real. Bullets kill everyone equally. But you are materialistic creatures. Your possesions define you... and as such you can never be free till you have nothing left to lose.
I know I'm not materialistic. My possesions are limited and I don't take anything for granted. Ever.
You wanted to see what makes me tick… Why? Who cares, really?
We speak from two separate paradigms. Although I understand your vantage point, you apparently don’t seem to understand mine. You keep trying to fit my words into your view of the world, which is how you can talk about my “contradictory beliefs”. All I can say to that is, there is a difference between believing and seeing. My comments above are not what I believe, they are verbal descriptions of what I see, and even they aren’t ultimately true. The only way you can know what I am talking about is to see it for yourself. Until such a time happens, all you can do is… well… all you can do is what you have been doing, which is project your own feelings onto me and then dismiss what you think I am saying. Which, as always, is fine. I want for you what you want for yourself.
I am glad you see enough to notice that power is an illusion. What else can you see if you relax your need to cling to your false superiority?
What is this really about kiddo?
I just had a bit of an epiphany of sorts Wolfie. I apologize for saying that your sense of superiority is false. It isn’t false to you. And maybe I am completely wrong about that as well. Maybe you don’t see your psychological differences from “my people” as superior. Your comments educate me about what you think, at least as far as what you have said here. The truth is I don’t know you. Who knows who you are offline, what you’re like, what kind of education you have, whether you are married with children or single or homosexual or Latino… I just don’t know you. But I have been given an opportunity to be educated by you when you share your thoughts and I shut down that opportunity with comments about your so called false superiority. It was my own false superiority that was rearing its beautiful head in that statement. I got that just now thanks to you!
...And even that isn't true.
LOL! Precisely! You're so good Wolfie.