Since I was young, I have always felt very uncomfortable around one of my Uncles. He was not blood related - he was an Uncle by marriage. I remember quite graphically that when I was about 5 or 6, we were sitting on the couch together and he began nibbling on my ear. I remember how uncomfortable I was. I don't know why we were alone and I don't remember where the rest of my family was. I remember him telling me that it was time to go to bed... that's it.

He passed away about 10 or so years ago. I remember feeling a sigh of relief (which is horrible to say). I felt no sadness.

Yesterday, while out with my mom, his name came up. She said that he had molested 2 of my cousins (his step-granddaughters). Suddenly, I felt sick to my stomach... all these years, I've always wondered how far it had gone, but now I'm starting to worry even more, knowing that he did it to my two cousins (who are only 4 or 5 years older than me).

I have always had severe trust issues when it comes to guys. I can honestly say that I can't associate sex and love - I don't understand how the two go together or why they should. I am married with 2 kids. My husband thinks I need to go see someone to figure out if this really happened. He is very supportive, but I don't know if it's worse not to know, or worse knowing the truth.

Hello anonymous. I’m sorry to hear that you are experiencing pain around this issue. I had a similar situation myself some years back. I too wondered if I had been molested by a neighbor and if I had blocked it out. I did some research back then and the issue of blocked memories appears to have been a controversial subject among some psychologists. Apparently, some believed in repressed memories while others did not. I’m not sure what Dr. Robert thinks since I can’t recall him writing anything on it either way.

Here’s what I can say though. If you want to feel less fear in your current relationships (with your husband, male friends or people in general), then you don’t necessarily have to look into the past to do it. The mistrusting thoughts and feelings you experience now happens now, which means you can deal with them in the now. In fact, it’s been my experience that the only time you have to deal with emotional suffering of any kind is now. Insight about whether you were or were not molested in the past won’t automatically lead to freedom to love in the present. I have learned that it is possible to deal with painful thoughts and feelings as they appear within consciousness and that digging around in the past was not a requirement for present moment joy. There are methods you could use right now to help yourself feel happier.

Having said that, I always advocate following your own heart and intuition. You might be lead to the conclusion that getting professional help is the next best action for you to take. If that is so then by all means, make the appointment!

How do you feel about that?

Dr. Robert did write something about memories "recovered" by means of hypnosis in a post called Is there a way to recover blocked memories.

He also discussed in another article how momories of sexual abuse can be put into the therapy room by the therapist or the hypnotist.

He seems to believe that there is a danger that therapists can find memories of things which never happened.

It is true that people can create memories just by having someone suggest to them something happened. I wouldn't suggest trying to dig up old memories, it could simply make matters worse for you.
From what you describe with the mistrust with men, the memory with your uncle, your cousins and unable to relate sex with love it seems likely something may of happened. I'm not saying anything did and most people would say not to think like that but it does seem likely. Do not worry about that though, you don't know for sure and you can't change the past, the issue now is the result; not relating sex with love and mistrusting men!
As I said, digging up old memories will probably make matters worse, but seeing someone to help you associate sex with love and to regain your trust in men will surely help your whole life, which may mean bringing back suppressed memories for that purpose, if there are any.
Simply remembering if anything happened won't help, understanding why they happened and learning to re-trust men will.
I hope I've helped.