It makes me very nervous to think about jumping or falling from a really high place. Does this mean that I'm suicidal? When I think about falling (or visualize it), I start to shake and my hands get clammy. I'm afraid this means that I'm suicidal, or that I'm afraid that I could do it at some point. Although I'm not exactly in a good place in my life right now, I don't think I would actually kill myself. I've always been terrified of heights and I have anxiety, so I'm thinking it's related to that. I just don't know. I should mention that back in junior high, I had a friend who killed himself from jumping off a three-story building.
Should I seek help for suicidal thoughts? I have seen a therapist in the past year, but we didn't talk about this. I don't know why I didn't mention it, but I guess I just didn't think about it. Suicide has always scared me. For that matter, depression has always scared me. Could I be phobic of suicide?
Since you say youre scared of suicide AND you dont think you would actually kill yourself, i would say you do NOT have suicidal thoughts, youre just anxious. So discuss it with your therapist and youll be just fine is my view. Or this was just a joke since you contradict yourself.
Jenna, I don't think you're suicidal. Yes you have a fear of heights, and probably quite a vivid imagination, especially because of your friend. I find sometimes when I'm standing somewhere really high, I wonder what it would be like to jump, then my head spins a bit, and I push the thought out of my mind and hold onto anything nearby tightly. I'm not suicidal.
Still, it would be worth mentioning to your therapist. Perhaps you need to talk through the loss of your friend. Must have been traumatic for you.