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Married but afraid she loves someone else

I have been married a month today. I've known my husband since Sept 2006 and we got engaged Feb 2008. We started off rocky but we have been ok. I almost called off my wedding a week before the date because I was not sure I wanted to go through with it. He loves me but I don't feel like I love him in the same way. I feel I love him more as a friend than with a deep passion. Everything else is great but I am sexually frustrated with him and I feel like it gives me disgust when it comes to the bedroom (I anticipate fooling around and so does he but then he doesn't keep me aroused so my urge turns off). I feel like something is missing and he has a hard time getting me sexually excited, even if we set the mood. Because of my disinterest, I avoid anything sexual, but in return I am dissatisfied and very frustrated. Everyone said it will get better after marriage but it has been the same for quite a while now. We've discussed this issue and it doesn't seem like it goes anywhere. And my other problem, the icing on the cake, I think I'm still in love with my ex-boyfriend whom I've kept in contact with on and off since my husband and I started dating but my ex lives across the country. I feel so disconnected from my husband and it has felt like this for a while. I don't know what to do.