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obsessed with my ex

Me and my ex broke up about 2 months ago, i dated another guy but he broke up with me because i was obssesed with my ex. Then we were talking but not dating yet we were still having sex. Im obsessed with him to the point that i need to call him and know where he is all the time. I constantly cry over him and want to be with him all the time. I need help everyone is telling me that were done and hes telling me he doesnt love me anymore, yet i dont believe that he doesnt love me or that were not getting back together. Its to the point that hes hiding and avoiding me. I need help. Please help.

Re: obsessed with my ex

Dear Friend,

Just try to hold dry sand with both of your hands and try pressing as much as you can. The more you will press, the more sand will fall from your hands. This is what exactly happening with you. Your ex-boyfriend is just like that sand, which you are trying your best to hold, but the more you try, the more you loose. You are not only loosing him more, but at the same time you are loosing your self esteem also. People who go away from your life, were actually not yours. They had a part to play in your life and their role gets over as they go away. Really believe me, no use of running after shadows. You will never be able to catch them. The more you will try to bring "The Past" back in your life, the more you will be damaging the Present and the future. Also remember one thing, the mirror in which you must be seeing your face daily, if it gets break once, can never be rectified. The crack will always remain how much you try to fill the gap.

So, just move on in life. I am sure the future will have something very good for you and is waiting for you to come and grab the happiness.

Thanks & Regards,


Re: obsessed with my ex

two months? It took me two years to break the obsession with my ex. Thats two years with the help of an excellent therapist. Is there one you can see? If not, try a 12 step group, any of them that have open meetings. Try to listen to what they say about serenity, about the things you can't change. I have found that practicing meditation of any kind as often as possible really helped at the beginning. Try writing a list of everything you want from a man and from a relationship. Let go of the idea of 'soul mate" if that has you trapped. Dr Roberts wrote excellently about the falsity of that idea. Focus on asking yourself, what can I give to the next love? What are my qualities that i offer to my relationships? Most importantly, don't date anyone until you've done all of that...
Best wishes on your journey