Pretty sure he is a sociopath but the evidence is not overwhelming to me, maybe it will be to you: We met online and dated about 3 months. Our first phone conversation was an argument because I did not want to drive to meet him where he wanted to go. I suggested another restaurant and told him the restaruant that he wanted to go to was too far. He replied very angry"I drive at least 100 miles each day", what's your problem. He agreed to meet at the restaurant closest to me . After that, he called, called, called and wanted to see me everyday and every w/e we went away or went to parties, napa, tahoe, the beach, the lake, houseboating, skiing, you name it we did it and he paid for everything because he wanted to. (he always insisted and was very comfortable with this). Also, the things we did were first class, if it were a pro basketball game we had front row tickets, the best suite at a ski lodge in Tahoe, a villa in Napa, etc....We both liked to drink wine, we drank about every time we were together. We often made outings to Napa and Bevmo for cases of expensive wine.After those 3 months, he asked me to marry him in Maui with a fat carrot diamond. I was soooo excited. I had waited 38 years for Mr. Right and although he seemed a bit reserved, timid and over concerned with doing the right thing...always composed. I said yes and jumped up on him on the beach and he said "Dont do that" looking around...ODD but I didn't pay attention...I was getting married. I planned and planned that wedding in Napa...he did nothing. My parents paid for the wedding. He showed up w/tux and that was it-there was NO other work done on the wedding by him except a few weeks before the wedding, he told me I had to sign a prenup he had written with his lawyer because his lawyer told him he could not get married without it. The wedding was planned, 100 people from accross the country were flying in for the wedding. I felt I had no choice...besides, all of my friends told me that there was nothing wrong with signing a prenup. I had a colorado attorney (parents lived there) and we lived in ca. I signed the prenup, we got married..Right after we got married, he changed....All he did was work, watch tv, and work on his computer. We had moved into a rental temporarily, because he sold his house to use the money to build a custom home on 6 acres overlooking the valley. There was no discussion of any house. He refused to sit down and make a budget. He said " What you make at your job as an RN is your spending money before we were married. Now, he is saying we just spent a lot of money, we don't have money to buy furniture or anything to decorate our house we were renting. Everything we did was his way but we did things the way he wanted it without him appearing to be forceful. I started getting very angry at the change in his personailiy...I did not understand how he could change so much overnight. I desperately wanted to start a new life with him doing healthy things together living a lifestyle that was balanced. He refused everything I suggested. I bought an extra treadmill so we could work out together at home and painted the garage to use as a workout room. He never got on the treadmill once with me. All he wanted to do was eat, watch movies(of his choice only) or (racing) with a laptop computer in his lap at all times, go to costco on the w/e, sleep because he worked 90 hours last week(he was not productive) and talk on his cell phone to his work buddies. I tried to talk about building the house and he ignored me, I spent my "spending money" on fixing up the house and he only complained about me spending money. refusing to contribute anything for our new life, house. He then advised me not to quit my job, until I had another one-not casue we needed the money just because. Despite the fact he saw me come home from work after sometimes working 16 hour shifts at the hospital crying and exhausted, stressed. He said he would not be supportive of my quiting my job until I found another one. The reason was not for need of money. He owned a large business and money was being made. He had random outbursts: One night, he thought my girlfriend needed to go home because it was 930pm and poored out a bottle of wine that had been saved for a special occasion-that night. I was extremely dissatisfied and told him repeatedly, we needed to do things together, make plans and nothing....We got in an argument after asking him to talk to me and him refusing and I started packing, I have never broken anything in my life but I pushed his big screen tv over I was in my bedroom and 2 cops walked into my room. They told me that my husband said I was suicidal and I SAID NO...NOT AT ALL. they then wanted to know why the house was a mess and the tv broken and interogatted me for ever...I pointed my finger at them to leave and they threw me down and handcuffed me. (background:Never arrested,Not even a dui)I have 2 bachelors de
Well speaking from experience... sociopaths don't call the cops and make up lies about you. If you pushed my big screen tv over I would emotionally destroy you.. not call the cops but I do know what kind of coward does call the cops.
His actions sound like a narcisist.
Basicly a narcisist is just a greedy ******* who thinks a lot of himself and tries to assert this dillusion on other people as well.
Does he always want things his way and all other ways are wrong or stupid? Does he have ego issues where he thinks he is great? Do you find yourself doing what he wants to do all the time or he will throw a fit?
I had a narcisist try to pull that alhpa male crap on me before. I tried to be nice but everytime I met him he kept boasting about what a talented Kung fu guy he was and how he had won some championship and blah blah blah. The guy thought the world of himself. So one day he decides to test my limits and started talking trash about me within earshot. He was doing pretty good until I got tired of his mouth and threw him into a solid door so hard it blew the door frame out. Then he wasn't quite sure where he was for a while. I guess in his reality he really was a little ninja but in my reality he was just another idiot getting what he deserved.
Him calling the cops is what a narsissy does. So consider yourself unfortunate. Nice tempertantrum though. Throwing over the tv probably hurt him but next time when the cops come you need to act calm and collected. If you seem calm and collected they listen to you and are more likely to side with you. If you seem emotional they kinda turn on you.
Which is strange isn't it? You were just in a highly emotional situation and you are emotional because you aren't a sociopath. So why would it be a surprise to them that you are all emotional? It's really stupid how the victim gets creamed because the other person pushed them over the edge.
Wanna get back at him? It would be ethically incorrect but next time he calls the cops.. tell them he pushed you or something. Don't say it out of anger either. Just be a little bit afraid and tell them he pushed you. Don't say he hit you unless you have bruises but if you say he pushed you and act a little bit afraid.. he's going to jail!! It will probably end your relationship though.
Narsissys always want to play these false power games with people. They're also cowards in the grand scheme of things. That's why I hate them. At least backup what you boast. Even after you drag them through the dirt they have some excuse as to why they lost.. Ghey!
If I were you and a woman.. I would just use this guy till I found someone better.
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