Dr Robert,

Read your post to the young man named Chad. Everything you said was right on the money! As it was for me, the lady I was friends with was my first girlfriend we use to skydive together back in 1986. However, she dumped me but we still stayed friends. I even married another in 1991, but still stayed friends with her. This brings us to 1997 after my friend had moved back to be near her folks. She invited me to see her which I did, it had been 5 year since last I saw her. She told me she was planning to hike the AP trail by herself and this caused me to snap out of fear that she would get hurt or killed. Long story short I annoyed and argued to her about it so much to point she didn't want to be friends with me anymore. That really ripped my guts out to lose her as a friend. I didn't want to lose contact. Felt that this was all horrible mistake because my concern was she'd be alright. I became so depressed and even bitter about how I felt I'd been treated. At one point I almost wrecked my marriage because I was so sad about this. Even thought time would help heal wounds and went to see her in 2007 which was a big mistake. 7 years later and nothing had changed. She still didn't want to have anything to do with me as a friend. Told me she has no ill will towards me if I would just leave her alone. That she would forgive me If I would keep my word and leave her in peace. I have to respect her wishes. That is as good as I'm ever going to get it. Can't make somebody like you but you sure can make them hate you. Chad needs to learn what I have. People change. I spent 12 years hoping to reconcile to no avail. It took me till the age of 44 to be free of this on my own when it all started for me at 32.

Wished I would have got help before I alienated myself to the other mutal friends we both had. Luckly my wife understood and stood by me through my "mania". Life goes on. Keep living in the past and life will go on without you.

Forgiven,

Lin