I have a problem that i wanted to share and get some help,
I have grown in a family with an autocratic parenting style ( my father), and a family that unconditional love does not exist. Now im 28(male) and in the past 3 years I've learned about some of my personality disorders. First of all i found that i am a PEOPLE PLEASER. And i cannot defend my own rights. and that im easily persuaded by other people. I always feel inferior. When i became a graduate student 4 years ago, i encountered a lot of problems. i could not speak in front of the students, i trembled and felt humiliated so i went to a psychiatrist and had a beta blocker and citalopram pills and psychotherapy for 1 year, then the immediate signs of anxiety did disappear but i always felt inept and incompetent to other students, and i could not work through my thesis and could not work with my adviser professor. Finally i lost all my hopes and felt that i cannot be like other students and quit the university. Then i went to compulsory military service for 1.5 years. During that time i found myself lacking any assertiveness and that i was easily bullied and i was an extreme people pleaser.
I HAVE NO PERMANENT FRIENDS and i hate everyone that in the past have had a friendship with. I cannot socialize with people easily. During my university years i always procrastinated. i always thought that everyone else is better than me. I usually cannot make decisions on my own and usually ask to see what others think about what i want to do. Now i have no hope for improvement since i know all of my personality disorders but cannot do anything to cure them. I cannot express many of my emotions to others. I cannot express my anger and i cannot express my love. I never want to criticize someone because i think that it will make them unhappy or will make them angry. In any relationship i feel that im inferior and others want to dominate me (and they usually take advantage of my poor social skills and impose whatever they want on me). Now i feel frustrated and think that those problem have instilled in my personality so much that i cannot uproot them.
IN SUMMARY: i am a PEOPLE PLEASER. i have NO SELF ESTEEM. i am not assertive and im not decisive. i fail to enjoy social activities and cannot make intimate relationships....

HELP ME PLEASE, what can i do to increase my self esteem and break free from the above mentioned problems.

Sorry for my poor English.

I am amazed by how closely your situation mirrors my own. I am in college and have been struggling socially. My freshman year, I was convinced that I would make myself available to people and I would finally have the social life that I had been craving for so long; I was somewhat of a sheltered child. I allowed myself to be taken advantage of often when I was young, and I would do nothing about it. When I did "do" something, I would simply give said person the cold shoulder and not talk to them.