| Subject: |
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Re: Jokes - put'em here and let's be all organized BIRTH ORDER |
| Name: |
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Sevy |
| Date Posted: |
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Aug 28, 05 - 8:52 AM |
| IP Address: |
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67.71.32.163 |
| Website: |
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http://isnape2003.bravejournal.com |
| Message: |
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Your Clothes:
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN
confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
______________________________________________________
Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing
didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
______________________________________________________
The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold
them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and diiscard
only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
______________________________________________________
Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress, a whimper, a frown, you pick up
the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your
firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical
swing.
______________________________________________________
Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you
can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with
some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
______________________________________________________
Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it
or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain
about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
______________________________________________________
Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing,
and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
______________________________________________________
Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home
five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a
number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees
blood.
______________________________________________________
At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older
child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
_________________________________________________________
Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the
hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the
coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his
allowance! |
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